While I was pregnant, I dreamed of a natural birth and successful breastfeeding. Things didn't go exactly as I wanted. A few months before birth, we found out I had HPV. My doctor informed me that if the baby's eyes had contact with the infected region, during birth, the chances for him to go blind where 50%. I was shocked! I knew that a natural birth would be best for both of us, but under these conditions? I decided to have a c-section almost immediately. I wouldn't risk my child's ability to see!
I had my unnatural birth and when the time came to breastfeed, I did it with great fortitude! I was waking up every three hours, to wake up my lazy baby and offer my breast to him. He was drinking a little bit and then he was sleeping. Such a tired little sleeper! I had to keep waking him up every 2-5 minutes during the whole process, to help establish my lactation.
From the first day, I realised that I didn't have any powerful allies on my breastfeeding journey. I had a baby who wasn't a big fan of breastfeeding or anything else, he just wanted to be asleep. I had a mother willing to help, but with lack of knowledge on breastfeeding. I had a husband, also willing to help but very confused from all this new baby situation. And I had a bunch of well meaning people who were forcing me to quit!
My baby was waking up every three hours to nurse for about an hour, the first months. It was exhausting, especially if you consider that I didn't have (almost) any help, but I never even thought about quitting. I was breastfeeding fanatically, I still do! Even now, that my son is 16 months old, whenever he wants to have some milk I stop whatever I'm doing to breastfeed him!
After a few days following the doctors' famous recommendations, I decided to let Nereus take the initiative. Since then, we have been breastfeeding on demand and I have never hesitated to breastfeed in public cover-less.
After all this time, I realise that breastfeeding has eased the pain of having a c-section. After not being able to have the natural birth I wanted, breastfeeding was the next best thing I could do for both of us! Fighting for our right to be able to breastfeed freely has made me both not thinking about my 'failure' and feeling amazing for so many reasons! It wasn't easy, but it is the most wonderful thing I have ever done in my life!

Krysta is a young mother of a 16 month old boy named Nereus. She has been a WHAM until recently, and steadily starts working part time. She a vegan with a passion for healthy and eco living. She blogs at A Fairytale Comes Alive about her daily life as a 'hippy' girl living in Athens, Greece.


I really relate to not having allies around breastfeeding in my life. Luckily, my husband has been extremely supportive. Great post!
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately my husband had postparum depression (don't laugh...it happens...I was joking about it until I recently descovered this can happen to men,too) and he wasn't very nice with me. I feel so confident now, that nothing can let me down!
DeleteI can completely related. Breastfeeding was so, so difficult for me in the beginning with my first child - especially after my C-section, but I'm so glad we made it through the tough beginning. We had 19 beautiful months of nursing after that!
ReplyDeleteOh I just saw this! I'm so happy you made it too!
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